Things are Decent, aka "What's New, Scooby Doo?"

Time has been limited for me, but I \will try to stay on top of providing information since this has been a help to me.  I'd like to take the time to look at what's been going on to make me laugh or  doesn't drive me insane. 


The Smurfs still drive me up the wall at times.  We (the whole family) have been home together for 11 days.  That's 11 days of crying, whining, running, jumping, breaking, Christmas, toys, and relatives.  It's rough when 1 and 2 are together because they're at the age where they've learned how to work together to do the things they're not supposed to do.  They've figured out how to operate the car keys to open the doors; combine that with being able to reach the locks on the front door and move like ninjas when they want, and i've got two kids that need bells around their necks when near the front door.  To me it's funny because the rest of the time that they're awake it's hard to not know where they are.  Both of them are so loud when together that i'm always pre-planning trips into the store with them.  I do the classic "If you do this then you will feel the WRATH OF DAD" speech, which occasionally works.  Add Smurf 3 into it, who is becoming more vocal and wanting more stimulation, and it turns into a "fun" outing at the grocery store.  We're at the point where I have to keep telling them that I will not be buying any toys at the store; they can look but nothing goes home with us.  They have so many toys (and with Christmas recently behind us) that I can't take anything else coming into the house.  It is nice to see them playing with each other's toys and creating some colorful stories.  My son will sit there with the strawberry shortcake house with the girls riding hotwheels cars while my daughter has one of the castles or the firehouse having cinderella slide down the pole to ride a motorcycle.

Scooby-Doo has become a recent mainstay on the t.v., and I actually like the older shows of it (I watched them all as a kid).  Once I was able to explain that the "ghosts" are people in costumes, they love watching the episodes.  The new version appears to be scarier, so we avoid those.  However, it's to the point where Smurf 3 will watch the t.v. when it's on, and then he gets mad if we stop it before it ends.

What I am enjoying/loathing is that my kids are not indoor kids.  Even though they have their t.v. shows they like to watch, it's not something they spend all day doing.  They begged and pleaded to go outside to swing, play in the leaves, dig up stuff, climb trees, go to parks and playgrounds, and take walks.  Even Smurf 3 preferred to be outside rather than inside.  I just wish I could find more places with climbable trees at parks so they could have more fun.  I've wanted to take them to practice putting since they like it, but it's hard to do with Smurf 3 because he gets bored easily now and the wife doesn't like golf.  They all seem to be into collecting rocks, finding nests, etc.

I get to be a stay-at-home dad for another month, then I have to switch jobs and spend time in an office.  Smurf 3 will have to go to daycare at that time, and to be honest i'm dreading it.  We were able to eliminate 2 of his meds and reduce the ones remaining but he's still small and delayed.  However it seems that the more stimulation he receives the faster he's developing, but it's hard to keep up with him in what he wants to see or do.  I've been able to get him to roll over from his stomach to his back, but not the other way around.  He's definitely trying though, and will get mad if he can't turn the way he wants.  He does like watching his siblings, even when they are in his face and become too rough with him. Right now i've got him in a swing and the others watching Scooby-Doo, but they're also playing with a castle and Strawberry Shortcake House/figurines.  Smurf 3 is asleep in the swing, giving my wife time to rest from the craziness of us all.  Happy Holidays.

Life Sucks at Times, aka "What's Going On?"

Well, just when we thought Smurf 3 would be coming home, he develops several problems at once.  His stomach became distended, and it's just full of air.  They cannot find any reason why at this point, so that's frustrating.  Then, his liver is showing enlarged veins but looks healthy; however, his test levels are coming back high.  They tried a medication, but he's starting to look jaundiced and every flarking test is coming back negative.  So now they're moving him to a hospital 45 minutes away because the pediatric liver specialist (didn't even know you could get THAT specialized) is at this other hospital.  I'm just frustrated and upset that we don't know what's wrong with him and how to fix it at this point.  He's wanting to eat, but because of the stomach issues they can't allow him to eat until the air is out of his intestines.  Even though he's getting IV nutrients, he's wanting a bottle. 

So now my wife will have to spend even more time at the hospital and driving during the day, which means i'm going to have to go back to doing drop offs and pick ups of the other two Smurfs.  Plus, if i'm going to be able to visit Smurf 3 while maintaining my job I will need to keep going at night.  So instead of getting home around 1 a.m. I probably won't get back until 2 or later, and that's if I don't shorten my time with Smurf 3.  Not to mention the extra strain this will place on my ability to work to make enough money to cover all our current and extra bills.  After all of this I think the credit card companies actually own a piece of my asss

I'm not mad or frustrated at anyone, just at the situation.  I appreciate all the doctors, nurses, and nurse practitioners that have been trying to figure this out; I just wish this would end so I could have my entire family home.

We haven't been telling anyone about the medical issues, but there have been messages asking about when he would come home.  My wife doesn't want to tell anybody anything, but I'd rather just tell them and then say whether or not we want any help or visitors rather than just ignoring everyone.  I appreciate that people care and want to know, but I don't want the headache of people trying to visit, offering to cook, clean, etc.  I laughed when one of my sister-in-laws offered to cook dinner for us when she doesn't even cook for her own family; she has most take-out places on speed dial.  To be honest the only help that has been worth it has been my neighbor, who mowed my backyard without saying anything or wanting recognition. 

Making it Work, aka "Keep on Rollin'"

It's funny how I have less time now to do things than I did while my wife was in the hospital. Granted, my stress level has decreased but what needs to be done has increased.  For starters, she's trying to do WAY too much right now, and she gets tired very quickly.  She keeps apologizing and telling me how guilty she feels because i'm still doing a lot of things, but I have to remind her that I don't mind, i'm happy she's home, and it's not a lot of effort on my part.  I've been trying to leave her alone in regards of the things she wants to get done, but I know she can't finish them without help.  Her big goal of the week was to get the house spotless and dust-free by Sunday afternoon, but so far she has only gotten a little bit of work done.  Most of her free time is spent with Smurf 3, which is preferable, but then she gets upset because she hasn't been able to clean.  I've stopped waiting and just started cleaning over the weekend, and i've already figured out when I could get stuff done around everyone's schedule.  But I'm going to continue to support her efforts to do things at home, but I'm pushing for her to slow down and take breaks so she's not too worn out by dinner and can't do anything.

Smurf 3 is doing very well. He's up to 3 lbs., 1 oz and hasn't started bottle feeding yet.  It looks good for him to gain weight quickly once he does start.  I've been debating on whether to post pictures/videos of him, and I decided against it simply for privacy reasons. 

I took Smurfs 1 and 2 to the pool today while their mom visited Smurf 3 at the hospital.  Smurf 2 won't put her head underwater, and Smurf 1 won't stop jumping in from the side of the pool.  If he could swim, he'd go off the diving board!!  I thought it would be harder to keep track of both of them, but they did well following directions and staying near me so that I could help them if needed.  It definitely wore them out to be at the pool for almost 2 hours.  We'll probably do it again on Sunday morning.

Work is a pain as usual.

Sleep has been... elusive.  Since I only can visit Smurf 3 after Smurfs 1 and 2 have gone to sleep and I've done some housework, I often don't see him until midnight.   I get back home around 1:45, then i'm up until 3 or 4 doing stuff.  I get back up around 8 or 9 and start my day.  I feel like i'm getting less sleep, but apparently it's the same amount just at different times.  However, I am feeling it around dinner time.

I realize how much more time I need to spend playing with my Smurfs.  I spent 30 minutes last night wrestling with Smurf 1 and 2 hours in the pool with the both of them.  They enjoyed it and wanted to do more stuff, which makes me feel as if I'm not giving them enough play time with me.  I know I don't have much extra time to give, but I might increase the level of activity we do so that they can get out all that excess energy and I can feel as if they had quality time with me.  One thing we did today was to vacuum out the car.  For most kids this is boring, but I turn it into a treasure hunt (removing all toys and non-garbage stuff), then I give them a hand-held vacuum and direct them where to go.  Afterwards, they get to beat up/shake out the floor mats, and then they sit in the car playing with the newly discovered old toys while I finish up all the extra cleaning.  They seem to be willing to do whatever chore I need to get done, so I guess i'll have them help me weed out some areas tomorrow after swimming; they'll need to take a bath anyway so I might as well get some free labor!

She's Home! aka "Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Back!"

Yay!  The wife came home on Friday.  Although it doesn't change the level of burden I have, it's such a relief to just have her around.  Since she's still recovering I am still doing everything around the house (having to force her to sit still and stop trying to be superwoman) and with the kids.  She finally recognizes that she has to go slowly, so I'm running with the Smurfs, doing baths, household chores, etc.  However, it helps that she can take them for rides and join us to help watch them while they play.

Smurf 3 is doing very well for being premature.  He's now doing more oral intake of breast milk and will probably be started on a bottle by the end of the week.  His bloodwork is great and he's responding to our voices.  My wife spends more time with him because it's easier for her to visit him and me stay with the other two Smurfs, which works out well because i'm afraid to hold him at this time.  He's small enough that I worry about applying too much pressure to his body, so i've decided to wait until he's able to bottlefeed to hold him.  That way he should be bigger and stronger.  I'll get to see him every evening, which will be nice.  Hopefully he'll be home in 4 weeks or less.

Smurf 2 is just... Smurf 2.  She's so into wearing dresses and having her hair put up in certain styles.  What happened to my truck-playing, pants-wearing, daredevil little girl?  And she's only 3!  At least she's into spicy foods and has almost no qualms about trying new foods.  It's funny to watch her eat chips and hot salsa at a restaurant.  Her artwork is pretty good, and the patience she puts into her work is amazing.  I like the stories that go along with her pictures, and she often will redraw a picture several times in order to make it perfect to her.

Smurf 1 is such a hyperactive kid.  I think his mind works a lot like mine and he has a hard time dealing with his brain moving faster than his body.  I've been showing him various coping methods for kids that seem to work.  He's showing emerging reading skills because I was able to get him to sound out several short words.  He was quite happy to be able to read a few words (dog, stop, bus, cat, school, exit, and camp), and he can definitely write any word we spell to him.  His math skills are pretty good too, but could be better.  He can add and subtract up to +2 in his head but cannot do it on paper.

So today while my wife visits Smurf 3, I will have the kids outside playing on a sprinkle mat similar to this.  Also, i've got some water balloons, guns, and bubbles.  I'm hoping to wear them out enough to take an early nap (early for them being before 4 p.m.).  I need to finish some outdoor work, laundry, dishes, dusting, cleaning the bathrooms, etc.  I've got to work it out with my wife on how to divide the chores again because i've learned that I can't sit still now and just relax; I see everything that needs to be done and get the urge to just go at it.  If I sit still I start to fall asleep due to boredom, so it's back to taking care of things for me. 

Misspoken Words of the Day
ratberry/rasblueberry.

Ramblings, aka "Another Day, Another Way to Stress"

So Smurf 3 is doing well.  There were some concerns about his liver functioning and potential brain bleeding, but all scans come back positive.  He still bruises and bleeds easier than he should, but it's getting better. His platelet count has stabilized and is improving, so he should not bleed as much.  It appears the same issues that my wife had are showing up in him, but they are definitely getting much better.  His suck reflex is very strong, so even though they have a nasal feeding tube in him they are giving him drops on his lips and in his mouth along with a pacifier to get him used to the coordination of eating and breathing.  And he is not on any breathing machines and such, so things are going really well for him.  However, I can't bring himself to visit him for long in the NICU.  It's a combination of the hospital (this hospital is great; I just hate hospitals), wanting him out of NICU, him being fragile so i'm afraid of accidentally hurting him (I have a hard time judging my strength), and then having to watch over the other Smurfs.  They cannot visit him because of their ages, so they stay with Momma Smurf in her room.  However, she cannot handle them as easily right now, so I try to limit myself so that she is not having increased difficulties.  Last time I left them, when I returned both Smurfs were in the hallway and had been trying to follow me when I left.  I know there are more serious things that could be happening and so i'm trying not to stress out my wife and the kids.  But I am going to have to find some time to shower.

At times my Smurfs irritate the hell out of me, and others they are cute.  I had a bit of both yesterday, but i'm not going to get into them.  I do like the fact that I can now explain things to them, wait about 20 minutes, and then check to see if they understand.  Granted, I still do a lot of misdirection or distract from questions which are difficult to answer, but overall I'm finding that by talking to them I get to increase their vocabulary and problem solving/critical thinking skills.

I hate eating out.  I used to like it, but I just don't like most fast foods anymore, and I don't like going to restaurants (although my Smurfs are very entertaining when they're not whining).  If I had a new grill at home I don't think I would ever eat out again. However, my wife likes to eat at certain places and the kids like to entertain other people, so I put up with it.  It just sucks that I can't order a true medium rare steak with the blood and juices coming out; I miss that.

Misunderstandings, aka "Kids Say the Darndest Things"

Today I shall tell of two stories involving the Smurfs and some misunderstanding on my part.  I preface by saying that kids will say things innocently, but some of those things can be easily misinterpreted and can make you wonder about your own thoughts and feelings.

Story 1:  When we visit my wife, one of our routines is to take a lap around the ground and 1st floors.  During one trip the hallway was empty except for an orderly/nurse/tech/hospital employee person wearing gray scrubs and of Middle Eastern origin.  The hallway is quiet, and as we get close to him Smurf 1 says rather loudly "What is that gray thing?"  Trying not to overreact, I ask him "what do you mean?"  He then points in the direction of the guy and repeats the phrase.  Now I'm torn between avoiding eye contact, looking at the guy and giving the "kids are crazy" shoulder shrug, or standing up straight (since I could tell I was bigger than him) and give him the "I dare you to say something to my kid" look.  Instead, my wife opted for the smart option and asked him for more clarity. He points again, but this time he says "That gray thing there.  The thing with the words. What does it say?"  My heart finally started to slow down and we read the sign to him (loud enough for the guy to hear) and kept on going.

Story 2:  As we're walking through a hallway to get to the elevators to visit my wife, Smurf 1 says loudly (I think he only has one volume level) "What happened to the man?"I look up and down the hallway to find out what person he has identified, but I don't see any guy except a \really fat guy walking (like take-up-half-the-hallway fat).  There happened to be two women walking behind us, and I heard one of them go "ohmygawd!" and the other one started giggling.  Remembering what happened in Story 1, I asked him to point and describe who he is talking about.  He then pointed to the hallway (away from the fat guy) and said that there was a statue there that was now covered up.  I told him that the hospital was probably fixing something and he would be back later. 

So what have I learned?  That I need to make sure my Smurfs clarify anything that may be embarrassing, although there will be that day where my fears will be confirmed.

On a good note, my wife came home for 6 hours today again, which was a huge relief again.  We did almost nothing and it was glorious.  Also, the in-laws did not stop by (yay!).  I still have to do some laundry, dishes, and bathe the kids (they did not take a nap until 6!), but i'm still happy about today.  Tomorrow will be a different story.

Smurf 2 likes to chirp like a bird.  Well, she likes to make all kinds of sounds and noises as part of her acting/singing/dancing repertoire, and one of her favorite things is to chirp like a bird.  It's annoying, constant, and cute at the same time.  She will go from sounding like Donald Duck to chirping to doing penguin noises.  It's a weird skill she's developed but it suits her personality.